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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28960665">What in the World is (Wrong With) Wakko Warner?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insufferable_KnowItAll/pseuds/Insufferable_KnowItAll'>Insufferable_KnowItAll</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Animaniacs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Animaniacs angst, But just temporarily, I hope it makes you upset too!!, I made myself upset with this one, Read at your own discretion, Sickfic, Then I hope you have a fantastic day, This fic involves diabetic ketoacidosis and a description of the ICU, Welcome to a fic that is almost purely angst, hello my friends, oh ho ho</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:27:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,573</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28960665</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insufferable_KnowItAll/pseuds/Insufferable_KnowItAll</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Wakko Warner was not behaving like himself. His older sister Thea, armed with pathophysiology textbooks galore, intended to find out why. After Wakko was struck with a mild illness, she got her answer. The remaining three Warners are left reeling in disaster’s wake. Would Wakko ever come back to them?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dot Warner &amp; Wakko Warner &amp; Yakko Warner &amp; Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What in the World is (Wrong With) Wakko Warner?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sixty-three years of someone’s constant company gives you a pretty good idea of who they are. By 1993, the Warners knew each other better than they knew themselves. </p><p>Yakko, Wakko, and Dot knew that Thea would do <em> anything </em> if you bet her she couldn’t—except eat with her hands. She couldn’t <em> stand </em> the feeling of unclean hands. </p><p>Thea, Wakko, and Dot knew that Yakko would drink milk to “see just <em> how </em> lactose intolerant” he was. Thea bought milk substitutes or hid crushed lactase supplements in his dairy, because <em> he won’t stop eating it</em>, but none of them wanted to see Yakko in pain. </p><p>Thea, Yakko, and Dot knew that Wakko had a keen interest in entomology. Unfortunately. A rule was implemented that permitted him to bring in one (1) insect at a time and it must never leave his hands. It had to be taken back outside after it was shown off. </p><p>Thea, Yakko, and Wakko knew that Dot would hog any blanket she could get her hands on. It didn’t matter how many there were, or how hard they resisted. Dot was stronger than she looked. By the next morning, she would be wrapped in a 5-blanket-strong cocoon while the poor soul(s) she was with froze. </p><p>There were a million other quirks the Warner siblings had learned about each other. They tended to pick up on any alterations in the others’ behavior quickly. </p><p>Thea noticed something was off about her youngest brother. His fatigue was sudden and profound. The usually energetic kid was suddenly sleeping for another hour, sometimes two, per night. Every evening he crawled onto her lap while she read, as per usual, but he was asleep before she could greet him. </p><p>Wakko was more irritable, as well. This was particularly alarming, as he was the most jubilant Warner. Watching him snap at his siblings at the drop of a hat was... unsettling, to say the least. </p><p>Thea called the pediatrician. </p><p>“What do you <em> mean </em> you don’t have an appointment for two weeks? There’s something wrong with Wakko now! Well, no, I suppose it’s not severe enough for the emergency room, but—Ok. Fine. Two weeks. Thank you,” she growled. </p><p>She slammed down the receiver and began to pace in agitation. She knew something was up. This was completely unlike Wakko. There had to be a driving force behind this sudden change in behavior and she was going to find it. </p><p>So Thea did what she did best—she researched. </p><p>She scoured her pathophysiology books day in and day out, but nothing made sense. His symptoms were too generalized. She couldn’t think of any other distinguishing signs.</p><p>He was eating as much as usual, maybe even more—he certainly hadn’t lost his appetite. No cough, no fever, no upset stomach. Nothing that stood out. </p><p>However, one morning, that changed. He came down with a stomach bug. Thea was almost relieved—maybe this was the etiology of his issues. </p><p>The Warner siblings were laying in Thea’s bed, as they tended to do when one of them was unwell. Wakko was curled into the fetal position, arms wrapped around his abdomen. Every few minutes, he grunted in pain. Thea had tried every pain management technique in the book. Nothing seemed to help.</p><p>Yakko rubbed his brother’s back reassuringly. He looked as concerned as Thea felt. </p><p>
  <em>Ok, that’s it.</em>
</p><p>Thea decided to take Wakko to the ER.</p><p>She cupped his cheek and wiped an errant tear with her thumb. Wakko clutched the hand resting on his cheek. The intensity of his grip clearly conveyed his pain. </p><p>Thea was going to make this right for him.</p><p>Everything happened within seconds. </p><p>Thea noticed the fruity smell mingled with the acrid scent of vomit on Wakko’s breath. </p><p>She noticed his deep, rapid breathing—textbook Kussmaul’s respirations. </p><p>His hold on Thea’s hand slackened. </p><p>No. </p><p>No no no <em>no</em> <strong><em>no</em></strong>. </p><p>Thea was notably skilled at remaining calm in difficult situations—a talent she had developed when they were first locked in. She could handle almost any situation with a calm, controlled approach. </p><p>This was an exception. </p><p>“<em>Wakko?!</em>” She shrieked, nudging his shoulders. He was unresponsive.</p><p>The others stared at her in alarm. She whipped her head to face them. Her eyes were wide with unrestrained terror.</p><p>It was obvious to them that something was <em>terribly</em> wrong. </p><p>“Dot, get Scratchansniff. Yakko, call an ambulance. Tell them there’s an unconscious 11 year old boy with suspected DKA.”</p><p>Neither of them moved. The shock of the situation had gotten the better of them. Thea couldn’t blame them.</p><p><em>”Now!</em>” She barked. </p><p>Thea cringed at the acerbity in her voice. She avoided yelling at all costs. However, this was no time for timidity.</p><p>It was life or death.</p><p>Diabetic ketoacidosis.</p><p>Wakko had diabetes.</p><p>He had diabetes, who knows for how long, and she never realized. </p><p>Thea had studied for decades to prevent something like this and <em> she missed it.  </em></p><p>Dot returned with Dr. Scratchansniff. He drew Yakko and Dot into a hug to protect them from the devastating scene.</p><p>Thea’s attempts to rouse Wakko were in vain. She continued to shout his name, nonetheless, and her efforts were reflected in her voice. Her hoarse cries periodically cracked with emotion. </p><p>Scratchansniff pulled her aside when the EMTs arrived. Thea stared at them with unfocused eyes. They transferred Wakko onto a gurney. The EMT at the head of the bed carefully removed his hat. He laid it in Thea’s hands with a commiserative nod. Just like that, they were gone. </p><p>Thea clutched the red fabric so tight that her arms trembled from the force. She felt wave after wave of panic constricting her chest. Wakko… oh god… her baby brother… <em> she let this</em>… <em> this was her</em>… </p><p>She couldn’t seem to catch her breath. </p><p>It didn’t take long for the others to notice. Dot rested her hand on her older sister’s back.</p><p>“Breathe,” she ordered.</p><p>Thea drew in a shuddering breath. Guilt and terror infiltrated her chest, as if she had somehow breathed them in. She swallowed harshly to push the liberated emotions back down.</p><p>Scratchansniff ushered the remaining siblings out of the tower and into his car. He tailed the ambulance. Thea lunged out of the car the moment they arrived at the hospital. She loped after the paramedics.</p><p>“You can’t come in here,” a nurse stated, thrusting her arm out to block Thea’s entry. </p><p>“Please, I’m a nurse! I need to know what’s going on,” Thea begged, voice wrought with emotion. </p><p>The nurse relented with a look of pity. Thea didn’t care. Her only focus was Wakko.</p><p>Thea waited beside him with bated breath. She held his hand as often as the staff would permit, diligently watching their every move. She wouldn’t let anything else hurt him.</p><p>Thea nearly passed out when they got his labs back.</p><p>Wakko’s BUN, an indicator of dehydration, was 32 mg/dL. He was severely dehydrated. </p><p>That’s not what bothered her the most. </p><p>He had a pH of 7.23, a bicarbonate of 13, and a blood glucose of 359 mg/dL.</p><p>His blood sugar would ideally have been between 70-100 mg/dL. This was nearly 4 times greater than the normal amount. </p><p>His bicarbonate should have been between 22-26. His kidneys were struggling to excrete the waste produced by the breakdown of protein and fat, which was how Wakko’s body was producing all of its energy. This led to the worst result of all. </p><p>A normal pH was 7.35-7.45. Anything much higher or lower was unsustainable. This was an extreme drop. </p><p>His blood was highly acidic. </p><p>There was no denying he was in full blown diabetic ketoacidosis. </p><p>After Wakko had been stabilized, he was transferred to the pediatric ICU. Scratchansniff, Thea, Yakko, and Dot situated themselves around his bed. </p><p>Wakko still hadn’t regained consciousness. There was a chance he never would. The physicians that flitted in and out of the room spoke amongst themselves in hushed voices. Cerebral edema, they said—fluid compressing his brain. For once, Thea wished she didn’t understand. She wished that those words meant nothing to her; that she wasn’t familiar with the implications of it. But she knew it all too well. </p><p>She tried to disregard the statistics, but they were impossible to ignore.</p><p>His current condition had a 30% mortality rate.</p><p>Almost ⅓. </p><p>Thea clutched Wakko’s hat tighter. </p><p>“Vakko is resilient,” Scratchansniff reassured them, placing a hand on her younger siblings’ shoulders, “He vill make it through this.”</p><p>Dot’s eyes shone with tears. She buried her face in Thea’s side, desperately grabbing at her older sister’s dress. Thea ran a shaky hand along her sister’s back. </p><p>Yakko was obviously trying to hold it together for his sisters’ sake.</p><p>Thea wrapped her other arm around his waist. He buried his face in his older sister’s shoulder, despite her shorter stature. He trembled furiously. </p><p>“It’ll be alright, sibs. Wakko’s strong, like Scratchy said,” Thea mumbled. </p><p>She was trying to convince herself as much as she was trying to reassure them. </p><p>The guilt she had tried to repress bubbled to the surface. It was her fault he was in such a state.</p><p>Thea couldn’t have prevented Wakko from having diabetes, but she could have prevented it from advancing to this stage. There were a million things that she could have done better. </p><p>For one, she should have insisted the pediatrician see him sooner. </p><p>A brief knock signaled another interruption. Dr. Kopler, their pediatrician, strolled into the room. The hospital had evidently notified him when Wakko was admitted.</p><p><em>Too little, too late</em>, Thea thought.</p><p>“Hello, Warners! Dr. Scratchansniff! How are you doing?” He beamed. </p><p>His casual approach to the situation made Thea’s blood boil. How were they <em> doing? </em> Their brother was in the <em> ICU </em> with a <em> 30% chance of dying. </em> </p><p>Thea was the hardest Warner to anger and the last to resort to violence. Dot called her a pushover for it, and Thea couldn’t deny it, but now… she wanted this man to suffer. </p><p>“<em>You,</em>” Thea snarled, “I <em>told</em> <em>you</em> that he needed you. I <em>told you </em>that I was worried. But you ignored my concerns, <em>my clinical judgement</em>, and now look. My little brother is in the ICU with diabetic ketoacidosis and cerebral edema. We both know the prognosis here, Kopler. It’ll be a miracle if he walks out of this hospital; never mind the probable brain damage he’s incurred from the swelling. You could have prevented this! <em>You failed him!</em> I’d tell you to shove your two week waiting period up your ass, but you’d have to pull your head out of it first!”</p><p>Yakko and Dot restrained her. Thea writhed desperately against their grip.</p><p>She wanted Kopler to hurt as much as she did. </p><p>“Let me go!” She roared. </p><p>“I’ll leave you alone,” Kopler muttered, walking out. </p><p>“That’s right, <em> walk away! </em>You’re good at ignoring problems, <em>aren’t you?</em>” Thea screamed. </p><p>The other two released her after he was gone. Thea trembled in fury. Her breathing came in ragged gasps. Wakko’s hat dangled from her fist. </p><p>“Thea…” Dr. Scratchansniff tried. </p><p>She rounded on him, “He deserves it. He deserves <em> worse</em>.” </p><p>She stormed over to the chair beside Wakko’s bed and collapsed. She dropped her head into her quaking hands. Wakko’s hat rested in her lap. </p><p>Yakko and Dot crept over. Yakko hesitantly rested his hand on Thea’s shoulder. Dot followed his lead when she didn’t pull away. Thea sat up slowly, placing her hands over each of theirs. Her brows were still pinched in anger. She huffed.</p><p>“He’s going to be ok, big sis. You remember the meatball incident, right? We got him back then! Besides, daddoo likes playing hard to get! I’d bet that makes us <em>immortal</em>,” Yakko joked.</p><p>It lacked his usual casual confidence. He was scared... They all were. But he was trying to make light of it. </p><p>Thea gave him a weak smile, “We’ve been the same age for 60 years, Yak. I think we were already immortal.”</p><p>“See? Everything will be alright! The kid’s made out of some tough stuff,” he said with a rather forced grin. </p><p>The three of them glanced simultaneously at their brother. Wakko was set into a semi-Fowler’s position in an attempt to alleviate the pressure on his brain. Several bags of fluids were hung, attached to either one of the IVs in his arms. </p><p>Wakko looked vulnerable without his hat. </p><p>Only one family member was permitted to remain at night. Thea insisted on being the one to stay. </p><p>She didn’t sleep. Instead, she held Wakko’s hand and watched him like a hawk.</p><p>She wanted to be sure she caught <em>any </em>alterations this time.</p><p>She owed it to him.</p><p>The day’s events caught up with her around 3 AM. </p><p>Her baby brother had almost died and Thea had been <em> helpless </em>against it. </p><p>What value did she <em>have</em> if she couldn’t protect her siblings from the very thing she had studied to prevent? </p><p>A more daunting thought popped into her head</p><p>What if this had happened when they were still trapped?</p><p>He would have died. No question.</p><p>She wouldn’t have been able to do a thing to stop it. </p><p>The dam broke.</p><p>Thea curled up in the chair, tucking her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around her shins. She buried her face in the resulting space and sobbed. </p><p>It was harder than she had cried in a decade, maybe more. She tried to keep herself silent, but strangled whimpers still escaped.</p><p>Even to herself, she sounded like a wounded animal. </p><p>
  <em> She was only 16.  </em>
</p><p>As mature and intelligent as Thea seemed, she was a just child who tried <em>so hard</em> to be enough. </p><p>Despite her numerous attempts to gain some semblance of control, it always danced just out of reach, but just close enough to keep her straining.</p><p>Fate was not kind to the Warner siblings. </p><p>They were abhorred for being created.</p><p>Locked away for simply <em> existing.</em></p><p>Tormented by a CEO who saw them as nothing more than a group of pestilent dollar signs. </p><p>She had a feeling that they would be dealt with—one way or another—once their value ran out. </p><p>If Wakko was even alive by then.</p><p>Thea shook with renewed sobs.</p><p>“Sweetheart, are you alright?” A careful hand was laid on her shoulder. </p><p>Thea jumped. She quickly swiped at her tear-streaked face before glancing up. The hand on her shoulder belonged to an old nurse. Her time-worn face radiated kindness.</p><p>“I’m alright, ma’am,” Thea replied with a shaky smile. <br/><br/>The nurse immediately saw through her façade.</p><p>“Alright, hon, let me hang this insulin drip. Then I want to have a talk. Ok?” </p><p>Thea nodded. </p><p>After the nurse had programmed the infusion pump, she gestured for Thea to join her in the hall. </p><p>“I see you’re upset. Is that your brother?” The nurse asked. </p><p>Thea smiled, “Yep. Wakko. He’s a wonderful little goofball. It seems like nothing, not even death, can dampen his mood. At least… not until he got sick. I—I was supposed to stop it. I became a nurse so I could prevent—or at least fix—catastrophes like this. I can’t help but feel as though I failed him.”</p><p>She attempted to bite back the tears, but admitting her fears aloud had shattered her resolve. After a brief struggle, Thea wept freely. </p><p>The nurse opened her arms. Thea collapsed into the nurse’s embrace.</p><p>She had never let herself be consoled—she chose to handle her more extreme emotions alone. Placing the burden upon her siblings was unthinkable. </p><p>Thea took comfort in the gesture. </p><p>“My girl,” the nurse began, “you’re a nurse, so I’ll give it to you straight. You will never catch everything. You can’t! You’re not omniscient… right? I know you toons don’t always follow the same rules.” </p><p>Thea shook her head. </p><p>“Ok, then! My point stands! I remember the first patient that died on me—no, no, I’m not insinuating <em> that! </em> But when that patient died, I drove myself crazy by thinking of all the tiny things I could have done better. I’ll tell you what my mentor told me. ‘You did what you could. That’s all any of us can do.’ You don’t have to carry this guilt with you, hon. It won’t do <em> either </em> of you any good. What matters is that you’re here for him now. I trust you will be?” The nurse asked. </p><p>Thea nodded emphatically.</p><p>“Then you haven’t failed a thing,” The nurse concluded with a smile. Thea returned it. </p><p>The older nurse’s speech had dulled the gnawing ache of guilt in her chest. </p><p>“Thank you,” Thea croaked. </p><p>“My pleasure,” the nurse replied, patting the side of the young toon’s face.</p><p>Thea returned to Wakko’s room. His face was illuminated by strings of moonlight, sliced by the slats of the blinds.</p><p>Thea watched the subtle rise and fall of his chest. </p><p>He was still there. </p><p>She would be there, too. </p><p>She smoothed his rumpled blankets and pressed a kiss into his forehead before curling up in the chair beside his bed. She finally let herself drift off.</p><p>Scratchansniff, Yakko, and Dot returned at 8 AM, on the dot. Thea greeted her siblings with a hug and a kiss on the forehead.</p><p>Wakko hadn’t woken up, but his lab results did show marked improvement. Thea held onto hope. She encouraged her siblings to do the same. </p><p>“Like Wakko said, ‘Ya gotta cheer up, and never ever give up hope,’” Thea sang. </p><p>“But sis, it’s only 1993. We won’t film that movie for another five years,” Yakko replied. </p><p>Thea waved him off, “The readers love a reference to familiar content. They’ll eat this up.”</p><p>“Oh, should we mention the reboot then?” Yakko asked. </p><p>Thea shook her head, “We don’t want to be too heavy handed in our references. It’ll look like we’re pandering to the audience.”</p><p>“Gotcha,” Yakko replied with an exaggerated wink. </p><p>“Are you two done?” Dot demanded from her spot beside Wakko. Her older brother’s hand rested in her tentative grip. </p><p>The older Warners joined Dot at Wakko’s side. Yakko laid his hand on Wakko’s shoulder. He looked away and swallowed harshly. </p><p>Thea watched Yakko and Dot with a profound sadness. She would have done anything to take away their pain.</p><p>She would have done <em> anything </em> to have Wakko back with them. </p><p>Day faded into night. Yakko and Dot returned home. Wakko was still unconscious. </p><p>Thea watched him in the dark, his hand resting in hers. She stroked the dark fur framing his face with the back of her index finger. </p><p>“You’ve gotta come back to us, buddy,” she said, “You’re the only one that likes my strawberry rhubarb cherry raspberry pomegranate pie, for one. How could I <em> survive </em> without anyone willing to try my insane culinary experiments? How could I survive without…” </p><p>Thea sighed. </p><p>She decided to sing a lullaby. </p><p>Hopefully, if he could hear her, it would provide comfort. If not, well, maybe it would comfort her. </p><p>A Soft Place to Land should do the trick. </p><p>Thea hugged Wakko’s hat to her chest while she sang. She took refuge in the hope that Wakko would wake up.</p><p>If she could ask the universe for one act of mercy, it would be this. <br/><br/><em>Please.</em></p><p>Thea drifted into an uneasy slumber. </p><p>She woke up two hours later. </p><p>
  <em> Wakko was stirring!</em>
</p><p>He shifted with a series of small groans. </p><p>“Thea,” he whined. </p><p>Thea stroked his hair, “It’s ok, Wak. I’m right here.” </p><p>She decided to calm him in the best way she knew how—by singing. </p><p>It wasn’t the first song she thought of, but once it rolled off her tongue, it made total sense. </p><p>She sang Wakko’s song over the states and capitals. </p><p>It was the song he took the most pride in, but it was often overshadowed by Countries of the World. Thea had always found a certain charm in Wakko’s modest song. </p><p>He opened his eyes, watching her with as much excitement as he could muster. A small smile lit up his face. </p><p>“Here’s Honolulu; Hawaii’s a joy. Jackson, Mississippi and Springfield, Illinois. South Carolina with Columbia down the way and Annapolis in Maryland on Chesapeake Bay. They have wonderful clam chowder,” he sang along. </p><p>His voice was hoarse and weak, but it was the most beautiful sound Thea had ever heard. Tears of bliss rolled down her cheeks.</p><p>“Where am I?” Wakko croaked when the song was over. </p><p>“You’re in the PICU, Wak,” Thea replied, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She recounted the last two days.</p><p>A few hours later, Yakko and Dot shuffled into the room, sure that Wakko would be in the same state.</p><p>What awaited them was a welcomed surprise.</p><p>“Wakko!” Dot squealed. She leapt into his bed and smothered him in a hug. Wakko hugged her back with a contented grin. </p><p>“You look like hell,” Yakko joked softly. </p><p>“I love you,” Wakko replied sincerely. </p><p>Yakko nuzzled his baby brother, “I love you, too.”</p><p>Thea pressed a kiss into Wakko’s forehead. She hadn’t been able to wipe the smile off of her face since he woke up. </p><p>They still had an uphill battle ahead.</p><p>Thea had no <em> idea </em> how she would calculate the necessary dosage of insulin to counteract an entire buffet—or the table it was served on.</p><p>She also knew giving Wakko multiple shots a day would be difficult, at least for the first few weeks. </p><p>But right now, that was irrelevant. </p><p>He was alive. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I promise one day I’ll write a fic that isn’t set to crush Thea’s soul. </p><p>Here’s a little lab reference based on the values I was taught!<br/>The BUN is an indicator of dehydration or kidney damage (when paired with creatinine). Normal range is 5-25.<br/>A normal fasting blood glucose is between 70-100 mg/dL.<br/>Bicarbonate, which is focused on the kidney’s ability to process hydrogen ions, is between 22-26. The lower the number, the more acidic the environment is—meaning the body isn’t properly filtering out the hydrogen. The body tries to compensate for this by “blowing off” acidic carbon dioxide molecules, hence the Kussmaul’s respirations.<br/>Finally, normal blood pH is between 7.35-7.45. As mentioned, much higher or lower can cause damage to the body. Values of 6.8 and 7.8 are considered “incompatible with life.” </p><p>A semi-Fowler’s position is when the head of the bed is elevated about 30 degrees. </p><p>This is the other half of my birthday spectacular! The other half is a fluff fic about the Warners and their plus one— “What’s One More?”</p></blockquote></div></div>
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